I Don't Give a Fuck if You Follow Me on Instagram

I Don't Give a Fuck if You Follow Me on Instagram
by Joni Marie Newman

I'm a ten-time published cook book author.

I've been a food blogger since 2006. Back when blogging was more of an online diary than a business. I hesitantly posted my first sponsored post just this past summer, for a hundred bucks and some condiments. I don't have any pop-up ads trying to get you to sign up for my email list. I don't understand SEO. I don't know how many subscribers I have. I don't know the difference between page views and unique visitors.

And I don't care.

I don't make any money from my blog. In fact, it costs me several hundred dollars each year just to keep it live. I'm not even counting the hours spent on developing recipes, editing the recipes, and taking some kind of photo for the post, never mind the money spent on ingredients. Any pennies I collect from affiliate links don't even cover the cost of my domain fees.

I will continue to pay to play.

I have mad respect for those of you out there that can make a living as a blogger or social media influencer. Good for you. You are changing the world. Seriously! The next generation will be grateful for the work you put in to pave the way for an entire new industry.

I fucking hate selling myself.

I'm also a 42 year old woman with a mortgage, and a husband, and a dog to feed. I really need to know where my next paycheck is going to come from. Let alone try to set up some sort of retirement for myself. So, I have a job. I work in an office 40 hours each week. (And part time, on a farm, on the weekends, mostly because I just love going to the farm and getting dirty.) And, if you don't see me at every vegan event, it might be because, I dunno, I need a little time to myself. To do laundry, or, honestly, to sleep.

I have 6114 followers on Instagram.

I had to work really hard to get to 6000. I spent lots of time following other accounts, commenting, liking, and trying to figure out just the right combination of hashtags to use. I tried using different types of backgrounds. Overhead shots. Extreme close-ups. Off the cuff candids. Even the occasional duck-lip selfie. But for the last year I have hovered around 6100. Completely stuck right at that number for a whole year.

I am not a professional photographer.

Nowadays, if you are a great cook who creates great recipes, you'd better be a great food stylist and photographer, too. Or, at least, have enough money in your bank account to pay one...Because there are some really great photographers out there, taking really amazing photos of food. There's a reason someone else takes the photos for my books. And, although, I fancy myself a pretty good amateur phone photog, there is no keeping up with the pros.

I am a goddamn cook.

I know how to make tasty fucking vegan food that everyone will love. Even my Dad. And my dad can be an asshole when it comes to these types of things. So just leave me to the food. Y'all can take all the pretty pictures you want to. Because, here's the thing, I don't do it for the clicks. I do it for the animals.

I go to my job so when I get home I can get to work.

Please understand, the whole vegan recipe thing? It is my passion. It is my work. I do what I do to prove you don't have to kill, torture, or exploit another living creature just for a tasty supper. I've done pop-ups that end up costing me money, even though I completely sold out of food because I don't charge enough. Why? Because I want tasty vegan food in people's mouths. Not just the elite folks who can afford a $10 vegan taco, but everyone.

My shit is cheap.

It would be free if I could afford to give it away. And that's why I don't ask you to join my Patreon, or have a donate button on my website. If ever I do ask you for money, you can almost guarantee it's for some charitable cause. Don't get me wrong, I have ZERO animosity for those of you out there with rock hard abs and two hundred thousand followers, or your perfectly posed acai bowls, or your funny memes, or your make-up tutorials (Trust me, I follow you, too!) As long as you are promoting veganism, I don't really care how you get yours. As the kids say, "You do you."

I don't give a fuck if you follow me on Instagram.

Just know this: I am going to keep on creating recipes anyway. And I will keep posting them on my blog. And I will keep doing pop-ups that cost me money. And I will keep on teaching vegan cooking classes for free. And I will keep on posting crappy pics of the unbelievably fucking delicious vegan food.

Go vegan.